The Little Romantic Whispers around Campus

You don’t need to waste your time on someone who only wants you around when it fits their needs- Joanne Scott

The dictionary defines romance as a relationship between two people in love but not married to each other. I wonder how accurate this is since I find it difficult to believe that married people don't experience romance. Perhaps the second definition might make more sense; it refers to the actions and feelings of people in love, particularly affectionate or very caring behavior. For as long as I can remember, campus is where romance thrives (or where hearts are broken the most?). A good number of marriages have their roots in these campus romances.

And UUM is no different. One time I am taking a leisurely walk through UUM's magnificent gardens with one of my friends, and we get talking. She has a crush on some dashing young handsome man from her country and seeks my advice on what to do. Should she approach? Apparently, being a cucu (grandma), I appear like I know these things more. Well, I chuckle and say I don't know what she should do. And I am honest. Number one, our cultures are different. I grew up in an era when a lady approaching a gentleman was a no, no. Such a lady raised eyebrows and would be regarded as loose, nutty, uncouth, and unbecoming in behavior. As a lady, if the object of your desire seemed too slow to catch your longing, love-filled eyes, you waited. If the young man caused your heart to skip several beats, mellowing the very center of your being, you waited. And the move would finally come. There was no rush-rush that is evident today, where two fornicators disappear into the unknown only to emerge the next day claiming love died. Number two, I have no idea what kind of person she has firmly fixed her eyes on.

On another occasion, while walking around our neighborhood, another friend tells me she is afraid she will leave campus without love. She had one during her undergraduate days right here at UUM, but the gods seemed to have conspired against her because the romance had ended miserably. Well, I tell her romance never grows old, and one day it will show up. From my little knowledge, I know romance that tarries, romance that weighs the pros and cons and is faith-based is likely to bear fruit and not end in premium tears as Kenyans are wont to say.

I think that being so many miles and a continent or two away must be difficult for the married without partners. Indeed, I engage two male colleagues this time, and I am amused that they justify a little romance when the spouse is two days’ worth of travel away. Clearly, we are at variance because I believe true love waits. After all, my Bible tells me love is patient; love is kind; love does not dishonor others; it is not self-seeking. Of course, we argue, but I hope I have persuaded them otherwise because I ask them to imagine the tables turned. Perhaps those who do not want to fall into any romantic trap have brought entire families. Before, I mentioned that some hostels are designed for families since they are either one or two-bedroomed houses.

Meanwhile, I hear whispers around campus on who belongs to whom. Of course, this is one of those things that make life enjoyable on campus. Unfortunately, the whispers do not spare yours truly either for being spotted alone with a person of the opposite sex in broad daylight. Snicker. What the whisperers don't know is that I purpose to defend my proposal in six months and will get help from any willing person, male or female. I am amused because I have been spotted with many, so they must be thinking I am a star, Jesu eh! One time, a male student offers to show my female friends and me around Penang. When we return, tongues are wagging because they had no idea there was a neutralizing third and fourth party. I later learn that because it’s against policy for one to be found in the opposite sex’s hostel, Penang and Alor Setah are the getaway destinations these lovebirds fly to. I laugh all these away; after all, the campus should be fun, shouldn't it? Chuckle. Chuckle.

My heart breaks when a close friend is wrongly accused. She is so dear to my heart. I never met a kinder soul all my life. Even long after I leave campus for data collection, I send her cash to pay my fees before discovering a direct payment method. Poor girl has so many issues to deal with, including being in UUM for very long and being so far from her husband and children. One wicked soul decides to spread rumors about her, having mistaken my friend's kind gesture towards a fellow countrymate. I encourage her to live a full life while on campus and avoid being distracted by self-seeking individuals. People will always spew unsavory words.

Knowing who I am, I get very amused by the several advances I keep getting. Allow me to titter as I write this. One of them is so persistent he eventually forces the Bunyore in me to emerge. I am tickled that none asks whether I am married or not. Crazy world. One time, I am on my way to the library when I meet this gentleman I have never seen around campus in my six months here. He lives outside campus, which explains his scarce self. And this poor earthling is smitten by cucu. I quickly and tactfully manage to shoo this human away. I have heard so many things, some of which I don’t want to believe. Yes, even Ph.D. students do fall into severe romantic traps. I believe many of these campus romances, especially clandestine ones, often end in premium tears. I did not sign up for premium tears. Chuckle. Chortle. Cackle.